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Sacramento Snipers Press Releases

  • Lynwood Emmert and Some Other Guys Sign Contracts +

    With a lackluster draft - the Snipers had no picks - Free Agency is where the team needed to make all its decisions. And it made the most important one right off the bat: Lynwood Emmert signed a contract worth more than the entire Power Balance Pavillion. The 6 year, $119 million contract will keep Emmert on the team for the foreseeable future, because GM Noonan would probably be shot dead if he ever deigned to trade him. That also keeps last season's starting five intact, and as the three 24 year olds improve, the gameplay will also improve. Also returning to the lineup is 30 year old Michael Sickler. The definitive "6th man" on the team, typically playing minutes at 2, Read More
  • The Unexpected +

    When Lynwood Emmert broke his arm with one game left in the season, the collective opinion of everyone - include Snipers fans - was that the season was over. The series against the Americans was to be just a formality, and the team would start planning for 2025. Apparently, the team decided to prove us all wrong in a big way. Lead by the newly nicknamed Gregory "Freaking" Santiago, the Snipers put on a brute-force inside clinic and swept Philly 4-0. The 3rd year PF ranks 2nd in the playoffs for point with 27.5 ppg, and leads in rebounds with 14.5 rpg. The main decided for all 4 games was the disparity in personal fouls. The Snipers drew 124 fouls in the Read More
  • Ott Acquired, Colton Drafted +

    The 2025 season is under way, with pre-draft trades completed and another draft in the history book. One of those trades included the Snipers, which was met with a plethora of negativity from all sides. GM Chris Noonan has been missing in action since the trade; he never even attended the draft, sending head coach Bonifacio Gonzaga and new scout Lon Wells in his place. Noonan has refused all requests for interviews as well, however someone from the Snipers was kind enough to respond to our questions.... if not in the nicest of words. "So, let me get this straight," stated Snipers All-Star*, All-OBA* Superstar* Lynwood Emmert. "Noonan gets rid of a $9 million human fouling machine in (Kevin) Kowalczyk... Read More
  • Snipers Make History, Enter Post-Season +

    Two years ago, the Sacramento Snipers were purchased by John Parker. Two years ago, he hired Chris Noonan. Two years ago, the Snipers had their worst season in franchise history. What a difference two years makes. For the first time, the Snipers will be playing in the OBWL playoffs. Although managing one win less than last season, their place in the standings was one better, which gets them 16th seed in the post-season. The placement sees them facing the best team in the league, a team they already play way too many times by being in their division: the Pioneers. A team they never beat in the regular season. When asked about the teams success, Noonan said, "I know it Read More
  • Off-Season Changes +

    2024 has only barely begun, and while the Sacramento Snipers haven't made any potential game-changing moves, they have made a few. Sometimes it's the minor tweaking which can make the difference between a win and a loss. 2023 set the franchise record for most wins in a season, and now the team looks to exceed that mark, and to finally return to post-season action. Urbin and Williams taken on as coaches A few staffing changes to highlight, most notably the hiring of former All-Defense forward Jaylon Urbin, who is making his first foray into being on the coaching side of the court. Urbin should hopefully be able to impart some on-court experience to the young guns on the team; he Read More
  • A Landmark Year For the Snipers +

    2023 has turned out to be a landmark year for the Sacramento Snipers. While they missed the mark of returning to the post-season, they set a franchise record for wins in a season at 39. And if they show a similar improvement next season, the playoffs will be a certainty. Much of that falls upon the shoulders of GM Noonan and any moves he makes in the off-season. With a controversial pick-up of Kevin Kowalczyk late in the season that some say hurts the team more than helps, he will need to find improvement in his front court to make things work. And for the second time in as many years, the Snipers congratulate a Rookie of the Year. Gregory Read More
  • So Won't the Real Emmert Please Stand Up? +

    It would appear Snipers star and all-around-bad-apple Lynwood Emmert can't stay out of the news lately. After the team's 2-point win over the Invaders last night - in Indiana no less - Emmert called Lynwood Jamison "Fake Lynwood" on TV, citing Invader's GM Matt Reid's recent label of "The Real Lynwood" in the media. Adding salt to the wound, Emmert was named the Player of the Game for that game, with 8 rebounds, 3 assists and 25 points. Emmert added, "A guy that has to call someone 'The Real' anything, probably has to deal with a bit of an inferiority complex. But we all know who the real Lynwood was tonight. And every night." Emmert also nabbed Player of the Week by Read More
  • Trades, Injuries, and Court Dates +

    It's been a busy week for the Snipers, with a lot of events to unpack. The biggest news of the week would be the trade at the deadline; the first trade in the tenure of GM Chris Noonan. Almost universally seen as a bad trade for the Snipers, it brings Keven Kowalczyk to Sacramento, in exchange for prospects Terrence Latimer and Aaron Todd, backup Tim Wood, and next season's 2nd round pick. Ostensibly this was to get a starter at SG to move Emmert back to SF where's he's more comfortable. Critics decry Kowalczyk's lack of shooting and foul problems. However, his first 4 games with Sacramento saw the newcomer with three 20+ ppg games, and he's only fouled 6 Read More
  • Lynwood Emmert Trashes Hotel Room, Faces Fines +

    Lynwood Emmert is due in Anaheim court later this week as he faces a charge of vandalism after trashing his hotel room the night of the All Star game. According to reports, Emmert did not attend the game, instead preferring to remain in his room for the remainder of his time after the Rookie vs Sophomore game. Witnesses claim the young Sniper was ranting quite loudly during the incident, with one anonymous bystander saying he was upset at not being selected for the All Star game itself. Back in Sacramento, Emmert had this to say when entering a local restaurant: "At the advice of my lawyer, I won't give any comment on the incident that happened in Anaheim. However, let Read More
  • Road Trip a Success +

    The Snipers wrapped up a 7 game road trip with a 101-100 nail-biter in New Jersey, with their only loss coming at the hands of the Americans. This gives them a 20-17 record, the same number of wins for the entirety of last season. So, as long at the team wins at least one more game, this season is an improvement. The team is currently 3rd in the division, 6.5 games back from the Archers, but 3 games ahead of the Dragoons. Assuming that trends holds, the Snipers will see post-season game play for the first time since 2014 - and for those of you breaking the 4th wall, the first time since FBB became a thing. Lynwood Emmert continues his Read More
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